Monday, April 21

Typical WE...

"Men will be Men". I agree to it completely, I find many an exception too, but generally, as far as I have seen, most behave typically.
For past few weeks now, I am thinking and reading a lot on Love vs. Arrange marriages... I was myself for love marriage but we divorced, after a long companionship of almost 7 years. But that doesn’t change my point of view towards Love & Arranged marriages at all. :)

But this post isn’t about marriage only, there are a lot of things I want to talk about. So let me begin with one conversation of mine with my friend.

My friend(M) fell in love some 3 years back with his colleague(K), she is a well literate lady herself, doing her MBA as of now. M is a guy from middle class, so he was hardly able to earn his pie at that point of time, but things changed and this conversation took place after things changed. We started a business together which now he owns as I left it for my MBA and career, and he has made a moolah from it. So he has 2 cars, a bungalow, a nice office space, everything one desire of while starting business.

M now doesn’t want K to work anymore, he thinks that why should she work, when he is earning so much. Above all he says, in his family no lady has worked so far, so he wants K to be the same. He isn’t illiterate believe me, so when I asked him, will you leave the business and sit at home, if K wants to conquer the world. He said, simply...
Ankur, What the crap man, what are you talking???
I believe he hasn’t got answer for this question!!!

Now do things really change so fast, someone you met at your work place only and now you don’t want to work her at all. And there are other reasons too behind it... like, people will stare at her, they will flirt with her... Gosh!!!
Why in this world, we men, don’t believe, respect & trust our own woman... *Sigh

I don’t dis-respect woman who really want to be housewives, and if they finally settle like that, they have achieved their goals, but for women who have the goals quite clearly written for them, if they too do this, talking a lot about Woman's Day, Girl's Day, then I always feel that you are cheating yourself.
One interesting argument I always listen to, when I talk to most of my girl friends (read gf... not lover), they say... that we are in love, and I can do anything for my man... but will your man be able to do the same if you ask her to do so...??? I guess you know the answer and then you come up with things like you don’t want to spoil the relationship and there is a lot to give up, if you really want to stay it that way.
Interesting, all for the sake of argument, you know that you don’t want to give it up, it’s a sacrifice you are making, but you don’t want others to see it that way. I admire this quality of yours Lady!!!

I also feel that this is man's world, so things will take time to change, but when you literate, knowledgeable, mature woman takes such a decision, I feel that somewhere all the spirit is lost. And when I ask them, will you be able to do so if its arrange marriage, they say... NO, it’s a compromise, I won't.
I haven’t seen such 2 sides of coin ever. :)

Another funny talk which goes on in rounds when we men chat about our woman...
When you ask most of them, will you ever accept a woman who has a past? Now all you ladies will think that yes, they will, even if you have a past, they are ready to accept you... but let me tell you, we aren’t that frank in front of you... The answer 80% of times is, I can’t accept a girl with a past, because if there is one, there is always a possibility to repeat the mistake in future...
And when you ask the remaining 20%, that will you accept a girl then who has slept with someone before, another 80% are gone, and this time with a bigger NO NO.... Typical us, I must say... We are ready to bang every girl which comes to us, not thinking that eventually she also will find someone like us, but when it comes to us... we need a VIRGIN!!!!

*ROFL
I don’t believe it, and I have my arguments many a times with my friends over this, and they say...
Ankur... You are a Ch#$^a
heehaw... yes I am, but I know what I am doing, and I wont regret it ever, because I wont give her a chance to make me regret it. Love is the key I believe. :)
I believe...

Marriage is an institution, a promise you make to your companion to support and be with them at every single step in their life, where mutual trust and respect is necessary, where you look towards a future which is for both of you...
When 2 individuals become one... WE!!!


I think there is more to write on this... so more will follow soon...

Cheers!!!

69 comments:

vEENs said...

well.. yur thoughts are tru..and so right... and that u say all this for women :) i m so glad...u r sucha fine man! who believes in MARRIAGE!

:))

frankly... i dnt knw if i believe or wat.. i will ... or maybe i will ahve to :-/


well then... women rcomplex creatures.. they giv up ever thign and then they whine coz they gave up :-/

:))

men r equally complex :))

welll i still like men ;))

i m straight u see! hehehehe!

ceedy said...

After reading thru the entire post - which is very explicitely written - the key to any relationship is love - like you mentioned - and in any case - where you end a relationship because of n number of reasons - love did not exist and so the break up......

also when you start or do find someone who you feel interested in - if they have any doubt - i feel it is better to let such a person go...as then it will not be a relationship based on mutual love but more of an agreement.

also i have seen both men and women who can give you advice and make themselves feel special for having this outlook but even 1% of the problem they advice about - if they have to face they simply back off....

will wait for more of your post

Chakoli said...

Hmmmmmmm...

Nice post :-)))

Just one question...Why suddenly you are reading, thinking baout love vs arrange marrige?

Then about the note....there is a lot more generalization in your post... each individuals vary in soem or the other respoect...I guess you would agree to it...???

The last para sume s up....all that is narrated....earlier.... WE... :-))

Ankur said...

@Veens

Thanks.. :)

yes... we are complex enugh :)

Cheers!!!

Ankur said...

@Ceedy

yes, u shld leave the person where there is a doubt, but doubt is something which arouses out of u, its not tat all of a suddent it comes...
also i never said that u accept a person just like tat... u have ur parameters to judge and qualify, fair enugh... but to reject someone on the mere basis of past... i dnt think is fair enugh...
:)

also i dont try to make myself feel special in any way, this is the way i think, i dont think its special in anyway and i believe we r human enugh to understand it, but when the standards are compared to sub/poor standards then i may sound like special, and if this is the case, then i dont mind u sayin this.
Frankly, i dont write to be praised, to feel wonderful inside, coz i know how i feel... noone can understand it, some tried to and they get me all wrong :)

and abt backing off... u dont know me enugh i think!!!

There is surely more to come... :)

Cheers!!!

Ankur said...

@Chakoli

coz i m into the phase of it, where i have to decide abt it...

u may call it generalisation, i dont disagree to u, but also to tell u, the findings are based on a fair enugh sample size, a sample size which represent various socio-economic classes, if i can say it in this way...

If u feel its generalisation, they either u r not in that grp or we will see it in the future...

Each individual vary in some aspect or other, but i m not talking abt some aspect or other, i m talkin abt AN ASPECT!!!

I dont think i have summed it up yet...

Cheers!!!

Keshi said...

It just proves that no amount of Education will get SENSE into some men. Sad!

Keshi.

Cinderella. said...

Finally a man who admits it !! Bravo !!!!!!

BUt you know what, its all about the understanding between the couple. If they are happy with the woman sitting at home, then what the heck ! Let them be.

But if thats happening forcefully, without the mutual consent of both partners then thats very very unbecoming.

As for myself, I think I'd love to be a home-maker and see my kids grow up, but the other flip side of the coin is, I love my job too much to really want to give up. So, mebbe I'll think of a go-between. Thankfully my profession can allow that. Lets see what happens. Pehle shaadi toh hone do !

NIce post.
I admire your honesty. Not many men will do that.

ruSh.Me said...

Men, Despite being given so many responsibilities, will always behave immature and Irrational... may be thats the way we are being brought up??? the morals of our, lemme rephrase, the Jurrasic-age old morals of our society being laden onto us and expected to carry it all our life and pass it on to the next generation..???

http://vishal-rationalism.blogspot.com/2008/04/male-chauvinist.html

ruSh.Me said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Satan said...

Hey ankur,

U hve written a fantastic blog

I hve friends who like to stare at other females on the road (I dunno y people like to stare at females, I find it disgusting). Neway when I ask them whether u wud mind if ur female patner stares like this on other males on the road, the answer is plain NO.

Chauvinist bastards.

Neway rush.me has already given u my link on male chauvism, where your comments will b awaited.

Chakoli said...

coz i m into the phase of it, where i have to decide abt it...

Dnt think so much about things ehich are nt in ur hand...are the only wrds I cud say...

u may call it generalisation, i dont disagree to u, but also to tell u, the findings are based on a fair enugh sample size, a sample size which represent various socio-economic classes, if i can say it in this way...


I agree.... but then the claases whom you are talking about seems to be very less in quantity to me...is it nt??

If u feel its generalisation, they either u r not in that grp or we will see it in the future...

I never say about myself that I m in this grp or nt...but was takling that ...it is quite general what u r talking abt:-))

Each individual vary in some aspect or other, but i m not talking abt some aspect or other, i m talkin abt AN ASPECT!!!



I dont think i have summed it up yet...

lines and wrds can never end...but meanings and morals could be summed up in 2 wrdsa or 2 lifes:-)

Cheers!!!

Lena said...

wow that was an honest one!
**that we are in love, and I can do anything for my man... but will your man be able to do the same if you ask her to do so...???

well, ok, we know the answer, but then it is not like we believe in this, there is always hope that the man will do anything for us, too. And even if our mind says it will never be like that, the heart will have hope still. You cant change the way one feels about the other, neither change the issue of hope and believe women put into someone they love, It is just there.

But you know what i believe that the man i fall in love with will never ass for such sacrifices. of course it is a matter of culture, education, mentality, traditions too but then there is always a way to clear things out and to compromise on them. There is no man on this planet for whom i will give up things i love if he insists. I can do it on my own, when initiative is all mine but if he tells me i have to, then i will reconsider the idea of being with such a guy.

as for the second part of the post, well the guys are hypocrites for sure, want to have fun around but marry only someone without the past. thats still some prejudices of 19th century. It is not like approve or disapprove sex before marriage for both of genders, it is just if you love someone why would you care about their past?

Sweetstickychewy said...

I guess its ok or even good for a man to have an opinion on how he feels things should go around the home. But him forcing his opinions down his wife’s throat just because he feels that’s the way things should go is very frustrating and unfair I feel. She has a right to her thoughts, pursuit and preferences. And he has no right to force her down a road just because he thinks it’s the way things should go . I guess your friend juz can’t understand why his wife should choose to work/slog when he has the means to provide for her lavishly. It seriously takes two hands to clap on this. And if one demands to clap his way when the other is feeling suffocated because of it. I say its unhealthy and selfish. Its good to weigh these things before a strong commitment if a woman is very career minded I feel. Put it straight to him before he think he can whip it his way juz because he is da head of the home.

And how true on how men feel they can swim around the world naked but have their women covered. They should wake up the idea. Cause firstly, judging a woman by her virginity seems a little crazy unless of course if he is man who saved himself for marriage. Than maybe I can understand his expectations. But if he is one who has been around having a taste of oohs and ahhhs and yet demands purity..lol..i hope he get a shocked peepee that night he tried to get jiggy!HEE!

As how its not easy to receive a woman with a past. Its also not really that easy to receive a man with a past. This two aspects are really important I feel and based on individual concerns and preferences. But if a freaking willy is gonna decide on a woman based on if her hymen is broken or not. He should get a dip in deep waters and hope the sharks don’t give him a taste on how it feels to have his little willy missing.

Ok I am juz kidding on da sharks! But seriously I don’t really understand the double standards they are painting around so blatantly. :S

In our present geneneration, I think things are rolling a little differently though I believe some are still in practice of the old. And if a man/woman would judge a person entirely on their virginity. I would think they don’t know what is the value of a relationship and a personality.

Interesting thoughts of urs posted here Ankur. For a minute, I could see why I fear a string.lol.

Cheeries!

aneri_masi said...

chalo, only 80% are like that, thank god for the other 20%.

If I tell my husband I want to quit working, he says no, no, I want to quit first. And if I tell him some guy asked me to go out to lunch with him, he says, cool, I'll tell you where to go, what to order, to-go karaa lena :) He trusts me enuff, I guess :)

check out my latest post, you'll get a chuckle out of it, i promise!

aneri_masi said...

you did see the link on my post, right?

ceedy said...

ok - first i think I was buzzed yest night - so maybe I was not clear

I agree with you that you cannot reject someone on the past - but here there are two important things - one is is that person completly out of the past or are you just a shoulder - and secondly there are other pasts - besides relationships - like medical conditions etc - and sometimes these become issues....

i dont see where i made you sound special - you are normal according to me as I think completly in these lines - were you drunk too ;)...and dont worry about praise or anything - there have been varied discussion on this topic on the blog all over - do what makes your heart flutter is all that matters...

sure i dont know you enuf dude - thats a fact :)....

but even then when i said you wrote something interesting - i mean look at the comments and the interest in the post....

and to be honest - (please dont take it as a ridicule - just plain honest bud) your response to my comment kind of shows me that you have some kind of a prejudged notion that what you have written is different and you have read too much between lines....

aneri_masi said...

hey, your tag done!

SambY said...

its all in the trust i gues..but anyway sir..this post is a little beyond...marriage and all is a thing i have not given much thaought to...but will visit ur blog aftrer 5-6 years...and then comment ..:-)

Gonecase said...

The only response I have is men are men and men will be men :|

Pavi!!!! said...

Pat on ur back for honesty Ankur! It take guts to say such stuff openly. Appreciate it.

so 1st abt love n Arranged marriage..well the debate can go on n on..But i blv...Both hv pros n cons...Wat matters is not if u married n then fell in love or fell in love n then married....the point is u must love n care for each other..or the marrg wont work. Ive seen both kinds of marrgs work and break!

-R u serious?A guy doesnt want his wife to work? in today's zamana? I thot 80% of the world have realized that u need 2 ppl's income for a comfortable existence!

- abt doing anything for the man or he doing anythign for the woman...my personal experience is...after marriage one can (n shld) no more think "I"..All decisions have to be made for "WE"..wats best for the couple..n in this process, small compromises will hv to be made from both ends.

I din't u'stand ur para abt the 2 coins...i cldn't comprehend wat u were talking abt ther

The thing abt marrying a vrigin is sooooooo true! so many men pretend to be okay wit everything n to be cool.Reaity is they are not!n tht sucks!

My alltime fav saying on marriage :
" Marriage is that relation between man and woman in which the independence is equal, the dependence mutual, and the obligation reciprocal. "

carolinagal said...

Kudos to you!!
Its quite refreshing to see a man, especially of Indian origin, to admit to some of these things.


I'm glad to know that you are amongst the 20?%

Ankur said...
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Ankur said...
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Ankur said...
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Ankur said...

@Keshi

yes, i agree... but the same goes for women too.. isnt :)

i m no bias towards any gender u c :D :D

Cheers!!!

Ankur said...

@Cinderella

I havent admit even 1%... i cant accept ur bravo here :(

I agree its abt the understanding, and if u read my last line again abt marriage...

//Marriage is an institution, a promise you make to your companion to support and be with them at every single step in their life, where mutual trust and respect is necessary, where you look towards a future which is for both of you...
When 2 individuals become one... WE!!! //

i hope it will further insist wat u say... also read the last line/para i wrote in ur post on shaadi karado...

So all i m talking here is sacrifices... :)

and tu chinta kar... i can see tat u will have the understanding by reading ur posts only... and in case of friends i sometimes do ask them to wait and then try to change things... u cant be wat u want to in 1 day anyways :)

Toh u will manage ghar and job both... which is perfectly fine :D

U r a dear frnd, i must say...
Thnxxx...

Cheers!!!

Ankur said...

@rush.me

well, really its not immature at times, i shld say sometimes they are too possesive abt their woman, which isnt wrong... but this shld led to a situation which forces women to give up what she desires for!!!

well, there are few morals which are good, there are few which are bad... its upto us totally wat we choose :)

Cheers!!!

Ankur said...

@Satan

Thnxxx first...
but i dont want to be a hypocrite by sayin that i dont stare at woman... i do tat, i know its not good, but i dont find it bad either... principals are different for everyone... :|

and i wont mind my female partner to look at other hunks either, she can go out, have fun... wat i just need is the loyalty... and i know... it can only be reciprocated. :)

CheerS!!!

Ankur said...

@Chakoli

i agree with u chaks on this... i m defnitely listening to ur advice. :)

no chaks, i can tell u there are many frnds who talk to their female frnds in front of them differently and then they talk shit at their back... i feel sad when they do it...
and believe me my frnd circle belongs to every class of society, every type :)

**If u feel its generalisation, they either u r not in that grp or we will see it in the future...

this was rude from my side... i accept :)

and i hope u rnt ... u seem to be nice gal :)

**lines and wrds can never end...but meanings and morals could be summed up in 2 wrdsa or 2 lifes:-)

u know, if i be philosphical, then words convey the meaning of sea, and life in itself is an ocean... so nothing can be summed up :D

but u r right, sometimes life is not enugh to know someone, but sometimes, even a min is enugh... :)

Cheers!!!

Ankur said...

@Lena

thnx Lena

**You cant change the way one feels about the other, neither change the issue of hope and believe women put into someone they love, It is just there.


and i said i admire n adore u, females for this... :)

**I can do it on my own, when initiative is all mine but if he tells me i have to, then i will reconsider the idea of being with such a guy.

how true, but u know, we both come from different parts of the world, we are still living(and i love the fact) in a country where marriage is seen as an institution, whatever i have heard abt west its not the same, and it may be far from reality too... :)

** it is just if you love someone why would you care about their past?

i m happy tat u agree to wat i have written, i have never said tat u ignore the past just like tat... but wat i insist is tat u shldnt be rejecting someone just coz he/she has a past...

i respect wat u have written here...

Cheers!!!

Ankur said...

@Sweetstickychewy

I agree to the fact that it will be man who will always have a voice, an opinion abt how home shld be run... but as u have rightly put it...

**She has a right to her thoughts, pursuit and preferences. And he has no right to force her down a road just because he thinks it’s the way things should go .

i agree to u abt my frnd too :)

**Put it straight to him before he think he can whip it his way juz because he is da head of the home.


but i have seen women who are career minded giving it away like tat... just like tat :)

**This two aspects are really important I feel and based on individual concerns and preferences.

ya so u agree it cant be the single factor.... is it???

hahaha... really laughin on ur shark joke... :P
yes... these are the double standards which are set by few of us... :)

**if a man/woman would judge a person entirely on their virginity. I would think they don’t know what is the value of a relationship and a personality.


how true... and how does it really matters, its a need nothin more... but wat matters is how will he/she keep it in the future...

**For a minute, I could see why I fear a string.lol.


hehe... but i know u deserve better :)

Cheers!!!

Ankur said...

@Aneri_masi

haha... u r lucky yaa... seriously, aapko bahut ache husband mile hain, jo aapki itni seva bhi krte hain... seriously...
:D

i wud luv to do the same for her wife on her bday :D :D

so Sweet of him!!!! n so romantic too!!! :D

and u made me chuckle already :D

Cheers!!!

Ankur said...

@Aneri_masi

check kar liya... and i wasnt expecting this... though i said a robot, bahut near wala hai na ;)
:D

CheerS!!!

Ankur said...

@Ceedy

**ok - first i think I was buzzed yest night - so maybe I was not clear

so do i in the morning, i was rude.. :-/

**one is is that person completly out of the past or are you just a shoulder - and secondly there are other pasts - besides relationships - like medical conditions etc - and sometimes these become issues....


i do agree with u and by sayin this dont u agree that u think a lot many other things but just not past???

**you are normal according to me as I think completly in these lines - were you drunk too ;)

hehe... no ways.. i was not :D :D

and thnx for callin me normal
lolzzzz

**sure i dont know you enuf dude - thats a fact :)....

this was again rude frm my part... :)

**i mean look at the comments and the interest in the post....

believe me, i wasnt expecting such a response :-/

**your response to my comment kind of shows me that you have some kind of a prejudged notion that what you have written is different and you have read too much between lines....


and i thought the same abt u...

but frankly, i dont write any such thing so tat my blog becomes happening, i write frm the bottom of my heart and no matter wat but i feel it this way...

Thnxxx for listening to me on chat :)

Cheers!!!

Ankur said...

Samby

hehe... samby, i know u r a man enugh to understand everything par tune shaana bankar avoid kar diya hai yeh issue :P :P

chal koi na bro...
par tu humme chod kar mat jaa yaar..
i will miss u bro!!!

just think again!!!

Cheers!!!

Ankur said...

@Gonecase

tune post nahi padha pura kya... its a lot more than abt men here!!! :P

but agree... Men will be men and women will be women too :)

Cheers!!!

Ankur said...

@Pavi

as said to cinderella, i was honest but havent admitted even 1% :( *sigh

**....the point is u must love n care for each other..or the marrg wont work. Ive seen both kinds of marrgs work and break!

oh wow... we think alike... :)

**I thot 80% of the world have realized that u need 2 ppl's income for a comfortable existence

i think u r living at other side of the story... :P
its still the same dear lady!!!

**All decisions have to be made for "WE"..wats best for the couple..n in this process, small compromises will hv to be made from both ends.

i dont agree to compromise, its a negative word, for an individual, use agreements, or adjustments, they both are mutual... :)

but i agree to ur thought!!!

Abt Para 2... i think u read it again... and hope u will get it or may be u read post 2 on the same in short time :)

**The thing abt marrying a vrigin is sooooooo true!

yes... and its sad :( :(

** Marriage is that relation between man and woman in which the independence is equal, the dependence mutual, and the obligation reciprocal. "

wow... beautiful and i love reciprocate...
we cant do things on our own, isnt!!!

Thnxx for dropping by...

Cheers!!!

Ankur said...

@Carolinagal

thanks... there are many who think, admit yet cant write... i know them :)

i m happy to be amongst the 4%... the past doesnt matter to me, i just want to make a future with her. :)

Cheers!!!

Mez said...

Men will not change so futile to even tell them how they are and what they shud be.

crasiezt said...

I'm impressed! Not everybody can be so brutally honest and trash people from the same sex.
It's so sad that there are such people around us...and we have to deal with them all our lives! I have no hopes of the situation changing...but if it does I'll be more than happy:-)

Thanks for the blogroll buddy! You're on my "read" list too:D

Ankur said...

@Mez

we r human too... so we r bound to make mistakes... but yes, sometimes we behave like we r superior!!!!

not acceptable truly!!!

Cheers!!!

Ankur said...

@Crasiezt

I am not at all brutally honest and infact all of this is truth, i m trashing noone, i dont want to...

but i just wanted to show how we think at times, and how manupulative we are, not tat i dont think women can do so... but whosoever does it... its simply wrong!!!!

and i wud really love d situation to change, i have always dreamt of an Egalitarian society... wud really luv to live there :)

Cheers!!!

Cinderella. said...

Sacrifices !

Know what, they never leave us alone, not for a second.

Kabhi kabhi kisi ke liye badalne ko mann karta hai, aur kabhi kabhi kabhi na jaante hue bhi itna badal jaate hain, ke khud hi ko pehchana nahi jaata....phir bhi achha lagta hai....

We all see utopia, think it can be true, and when it doesnt, (obviously it wont, its utopia rem'ber?!), we think everything's just falling apart.

I think, its all a package. as much as the sacrifice part is true, so also is the utopia. Both need to be there together, to make it work.

Dont thank me. Its the other way round. Rarely we find people/places with whom/where we really connect....and this place is one such for me...you're a dear.

:)

Lena said...

@ ankur:
**
how true, but u know, we both come from different parts of the world, we are still living(and i love the fact) in a country where marriage is seen as an institution, whatever i have heard abt west its not the same, and it may be far from reality too

it is all in the minds, clishees about other countries. Marriage is institution everywhere, people are people everywhere. And no matter in which country you are living it is always about respect the other person and compromising..

Gonecase said...

Padhi sir, bilkul padhi...its just that all I could do with of the things here was nodding my head :)

Vrij said...

My first visit here.. and am sure it wont be my last..

Yes, wat u have said is so true.. most of us men are hypocrites. And thats something I just do not appreciate. I prefer to see women getting their equal due.

And yes, I have friends who have rejected very good women because they had a past.. and a very small/casual one at that.

But ultimately, I guess its good for the women to have been rejected by such guys, as u never know what they'd turn out to be later..

Sweetstickychewy said...

***ehe... but i know u deserve better :)

lol..you have no idea how encouraging it is to hear that Ankur.Thanks so much...:D

Cheeries!:D

Chakoli said...

i agree with u chaks on this... i m defnitely listening to ur advice. :)


LOL...biggest lie on earth is this when men says they are listening...:PPPP

no chaks, i can tell u there are many frnds who talk to their female frnds in front of them differently and then they talk shit at their back... i feel sad when they do it...
....
And do you think we girls dont know it....?? Sorry to say that....that it is said...that men will be men...and they are B******...(plz dnt take it personal)....I consider gals to be be bigger fool....who fall fr them...:-(((

and believe me my frnd circle belongs to every class of society, every type :)

Thats good:-)))

**If u feel its generalisation, they either u r not in that grp or we will see it in the future...

this was rude from my side... i accept :)

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR........................IUt cud continue...:PPPP

and i hope u rnt ... u seem to be nice gal :)

What do u mean by seem to??;-)))

**lines and wrds can never end...but meanings and morals could be summed up in 2 wrdsa or 2 lifes:-)

u know, if i be philosphical, then words convey the meaning of sea, and life in itself is an ocean... so nothing can be summed up :D

but u r right, sometimes life is not enugh to know someone, but sometimes, even a min is enugh... :)

This is termed as destiny:-)))

Ankur said...

@Cinderella

**Kabhi kabhi kisi ke liye badalne ko mann karta hai, aur kabhi kabhi kabhi na jaante hue bhi itna badal jaate hain, ke khud hi ko pehchana nahi jaata....phir bhi achha lagta hai....

Cindy, main agree karta hoon tere se, par yeh bata kya yeh compromise hote hain?? ya phir yeh adjustments hote hain jo tum karte ho yeh jankar ki yeh better ke liye hote hain???

Cheers!!!

Ankur said...

@Cinderella

compromises icha se nahi hote hain, par adjustments aapki icha se ho sakte hain...

thnxx for kind words, u made me feel special :D :)

Cheers!!!

Ankur said...

@Lena

I agree to you completely with each word u said... i accept my mistake!!!

Sayin all this, I have yet to learn a lot from you and i will keep havin my disagreements with you. :)
Cheers!!!

Ankur said...

@Gonecase

Thnx bro... nice to knw ur thoughts tat u feel the same!!! :)

Cheers!!!

Ankur said...

@Vrij

thanks...

but i dont think only men are hypocrites, we all are... the human kind... its comes with mind i believe...

and yes, i agree with u, its good to be rejected coz they dont deserve any of those men!!!

Thnx for droppin by... blogrolling u

Cheers!!!

Satan said...

@Ankur,

Still waitin 4 ya comments on my blog :)

Ankur said...

@Sweetstickychewy

**you have no idea how encouraging it is to hear that Ankur.Thanks so much...:D

Thanks tat u didnt ask me this time y i think so :D :P

Cheers!!!

Ankur said...

@Chakoli

**LOL...biggest lie on earth is this when men says they are listening

whos generalising now???

**And do you think we girls dont know it....?? Sorry to say that....that it is said...that men will be men...and they are B******...

not a problem, u can vent out here... and i know all of it, but still.. feel bad abt it :)


**GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR........................IUt cud continue...:PPPP

Gussa nahi, aankhon ke neeche kale gadhdhe pad jaate hain, chehre par jhuriya aa jati hai... and uppar se hypertension...

**What do u mean by seem to??;-)))

isse jyada ka pata nahi hai... so ... ;) ;)


**This is termed as destiny:-)))

wats mine then ;) :D
do u know Ms 1008 ???
:P :P

Cheers!!!

Ankur said...

@Satan
will comment on it today... blogrolling u for sure :)

Cheers!!!

Satan said...

@Ankur...

Thx.

I m not sure that such kinda persons should be held completely responsible. Means it depends upon on what kinda ambience you have been brought up, if they have come from a very conservative n traditional family then chances r quite high tht they would turn out with such a mentality.

If same persons wud hve born in US of A they wudnt have thought such kinda stuff.

Neway the bottomline is their mentaliy SUCKS....

P said...

Wish all men start thinking and voicing their thoughts like you. Good job!

As for women, I agree that if someone always wanted to be something (being housewife or a working girl), it is totally fine. But, if they do something just to keep the man happy, even if it makes them unhappy..then the woman is to be blamed as much as the man who made her do those things.

Keshi said...

yes it applies to both.

Keshi.

Ankur said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ankur said...

@satan

i dont think it has anything to do with the upbringing, not at all, its so very easy to blame the parents, or others around us, y dont we take the blame on oursleves???

Culture and tradition can never spoil any person, i completely disagree!!!!


and I dont agree to u when u say that if he would have been born in Us then he would not have thought to stare a girl... Sex is nothing more than fun there, and u stare every other girl out there, noone minds...

i think u r confusing both the things... :)

Cheers!!!

Ankur said...

@P

thnxx... and there are many arnd, just look carefully!!!

thnxx for agreeing me on the women thing!!!

I think love should not make u do things... rather u shld do things in love... :)

Cheers!!!

Ankur said...

@Keshi

:)

Cheers!!!

Satan said...

@Ankur

i dont think it has anything to do with the upbringing, not at all, its so very easy to blame the parents, or others around us, y dont we take the blame on oursleves???

Yes definetly the mentality of a person is influenced by his upbringing only(one of the important parameters). See I dont directly blame parents, but they are not only one of the parameters, may it b freinds, relatives, society??

Dont u think if u wud have been born to a poor family in a remote village and stayed their through out ur life, u wud have been carryin a different mentality???

Culture and tradition can never spoil any person, i completely disagree!!!!

Yes culture and tradition can never spoil any person, but social rules made by them can define a person character. Dont u think pre marital sex is considered immoral and taboo in our society. Even person havin booze and fag r termed as characterless persons. So relativly the person is defined immoral even though absolutely he is normal.

and I dont agree to u when u say that if he would have been born in Us then he would not have thought to stare a girl... Sex is nothing more than fun there, and u stare every other girl out there, noone minds...

U didnt get my point here. Starin is a trivial thing for me. What i was talkin was about is virginity. People there are least bothered abt the virginal status of other people. If a person was born their, the probability was high that he wud have been least bothered abt the status of his partner been virgin or not?

Neway u havent still commented on my blog x-(

Have a nice day !!!!

Vrij said...

Thanx for rolling me in.. will do the same at my place :)

A said...

very good post. Loved the content. very forthright. sums up the hypocrisy in the marriages.

when a man expects his wife to work equally with him for better income, then whats wrong with it ?

but when man asks a wife to sit home citing some family tradition i feel thats crap.

another point in when you say about accepting a girl with a past, then i feel nothing wrong in accepting it since its very difficult to find somebody with clean past or no relationships in the past.

expecting this would be a living in a fools paradise. we have got to live with the fact that its impossible this days to get somebody with clean past.

and about marriage, its not about trust or support from one end, it has to be mutual!!!

waiting for ur next post

Vandita said...

i like this post... and i would have liked it better if more men thought like you.
esp abt not wanting ur wife to work after marriage regardless of whether she wants to work or not. that i think is just so darn unjust... i mean hello let her make her own decisions u don't suddenly rule her life just coz ure her husband!!