The Best Valentine Ever

P.S. Added word verification and comment moderation as someone is trying to screw... and I can guess who she/he is!!!

Ok... I had my best Valentine day ever celebrated this time. It was hell of a day where I enjoyed a lot.

First, we went for a drive on 13th night after having some Thai dinner, I was supposed to be a long drive of 1 hr. We took the route of Chicago which is like 6 hours journey from here. We took IN66 for 2 long hours and then took a wrong turn. (Now this wasnt a wrong turn, but rather we didnt take a turn and simply followed a road :P). After driving for another hour we realized that we have lost completely. We didnt know where we are... so our driver aka ME tried his sense of direction by reading North/South and start driving. We hit roads where the traffic was only following us in the opposite direction and there were only grass on either side of the road. :P

The thrill was driving at 80-90 mph which is a violation, but I enjoyed it thoroughly. The best part was I lost my data signals too so werent able to turn my GPS on... lol!
We called people but it was just their voice on mail... lol!!

At 1.30 am in the night we found a Walmart (god bless them! :P) and I bought a GPS from there to show us the way. (see you need someone/something to show the way in life.. hehehe). We got home by 4am. It was simply amazing to see the stars, driving without lights on at times, and watch the lil orangish sky at times...

Then on 14th all of us went for lunch. Following this, we went for another drive of 3 hours and believe me the scenery this time was awesome. As its snowing here so the roads, trees and full of snow and it looks like you are in Switzerland (this came from someone who was there for past 2 years). The scenic beauty was simply awesome... Had amazing fun...

Then came back home and all of us Desi's here celebrated with Tambola and Dumb Shiraz on 14th night.

It simply was awesome... I had fun... how was ur Valentine? ;)

Its really difficult!!!

Its really difficult to understand girls, i say complex... whosoever said that, its quite true.
Not to generalize it but I think atleast I cant... :(

I am pretty confused... any tips friends!

P.S. Currently playing Ibn-E-Batuta from Ishqiya.

Dont know the title again...

It really helps a lot. Since I have begin writing here again, it really helps a lot. To keep out the anger or control my emotions, it helps.

Life hasn't been so complicated lately. But for past couple of days it seems a lot has been changed. My thought process and my idea of putting it across.

Firstly, the same dream is getting repeated, oh gawd... i dont want those signals at all...
and also the fact that i get weird dreams at weird times and then i remember them all day long. No wayssssssssssssssssssssss

We all want to be loved... isnt! :)

Ok changing the topic ... :P
I used to hate when people used to call Indians in America as "DESI", and now... I think they call them rightly!!!

Just to tell an instance, a girl with us today took all the clothes she bought last week to the store, because somebody told her that there is a 15 days price match, so if the price is less then she will get the difference.... gosh no, plese dont dont do this everyday! :P
and its not that it costed even 20 bucks to her...

Shucks... its true!

There is always time taken in adapting, but with that there is mentality... but sometimes i find some ppl are short of that mentality. PERIOD!

About Me

It has been long since i have posted something, hell busy thinking what can I!!
But here i come again... with a series of questions which i picked up from Lena's blog.

One humble request, if you want to say something bad, Plzz say it!!! :)

Here are the questions:

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. Something I have and YOU want?
4. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
5. Describe me in one word.
6. What was your first impression of me?
7. Do you still think that way about me now?
8. What reminds you of me?
9. If you could give me anything what would it be?
10. How well do you know me?
11. How do you see me in the future?
12. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't
13. Are you going to post this in your blog and see what I say about you?

The Tag!!!

I saw it on Solitaire's blog Warm Fuzzies and then on Vrij's Chai Biskut and decided to do it!! :D
Just one thing that i have added 2 set of questions!! :D

1. Do you miss Aneri?
Oh so very much in my blog... she seldom visits!! :P

2. Have you ever been in Veena's house?
She never invited me!! :-/

3. If you could do anything with Princess Mia, what would it be?
Now what kinda question is this!! lolzzz
Ok.. i think take her out on a dinner(and not a date!!) :)

4. Who is Ceedy's best friend?
Some Spanish Teacher of his!! :P

5. What would you do if you hadn't met Vrij?
I am still surviving!!! :P

6. What song could be Anjuli's theme song?
Jab se tere naina, more naino se lage re... hehehe
She lives in toyland!! :D

7. What was your first impression of Aneri?
She is sweet!!!

9. In a race between you, Ella and Aneri, who would win?
I think I will!!! :P
any guesses guys y!!! :D
ok... i will tellya (Ella and Aneri will keep talkin!! ) lolzzzz

10. Can Ceedy be bad influence?
He is...!!! :P

11. What musical instrument would Ria most likely play?
Piano! or wud she?? :P

12. Would you open a mystery gift Princess Mia just gave you, without much hesitation?
Oh yes.. y not!!!
I hope these are not Nutellas otherwise she is gonna eat it all by her!! :D

13. Do you trust Ria?
Very much... she hasnt done anything yet to break that!! :)

14. Have you dreamt of Keshi before?
O my godddd.... keshi u really want me to answer this!! :D

15. Oh no, Ceedy got kidnapped by aliens! What do you say once they get back?
Wud u like to try again!!! lolzzzz

16. Does Cess make you hot?
well... she hasnt tried yet!!! :P

17 Name something you have in common with Solitaire?
The letter a appears exactly once in our first name!!! :P

18. What is one thing Aneri isn't exactly made for?
To get angry!!! :P

19. What would you do without Princess Mia?
I dont know, may be i wud still live!! :D
but yeah... painful!!! ;)

20. What is or would be a good nickname for Ella?
I have already given her one!! :D :D

Just Thoughts...

Okie... I think I should make you feel good first so that you guys read it all!!

So, I admit to all those who used to think, this guy is mad,then I accept, I AM!! :D :P

I really dont know what I want from life, One day I think of something, and the other day I think of something else!! No fixed goals, no short term set targets, just dream big but no plans to achieve them!! :D

I think i want to be aloof, alone and then sometimes i think i badly need someone. I need to be taken care off, coz i hate to pretend that I am a very strong person!! 

And then I again think, No, this is the way i should be... Lonely!!! 

I think of giving up on sweets and carbs one day, and the next day I think, just once more...

Think of start running in the morning and then it starts rain in the mornings... even i think god is also not with me!! lolzzz

Sometimes, i think i should reduce my weight, and then I think, so what, if people like the exterior more then let it be. Y should i change for others... and then i think, no i should!! :P

I think of giving up the time i spend online, then i think i cant live without it, which is quite true, I am addicted!! 

I think of not living with friends, but then I find it most difficult not having them. Then i make the mistake of too early calling someone friend and then it hits right on the head, for making the mistake of calling them one!! !

There are too many things for which i repent, but the most I do was to be loved and to love!! But that is for myself!! 

Still someday i feel like i should fall in love, and someday... 

Still... Life goes on... killing everyday slightly!! ;)

Disclaimer: All above written is totally inspired from a movie!! lolzzz

D lIfE oF @ JoKeR

Just wanna know.. what do u guys infer from the title of the post?

The Good, The Bad or The Ugly!!!!

Keep me posted!!

Cheers!!!

P.S. More to follow...

Absofuckinglutely Awesome!!!!

I think we were overburdened and overboard/overbored with the love triangle that Bollywood had to offer. But I think now we can say, that we are a part of grown up and mature cinema!!!

I think i have seen one of the best directed/scripted/narrated movie of our time. People say Dil Chahta Hai was/is a cult... then i think the era has just begin, the road has just been laid down... A new Cult will follow- The Rock in Indian Cinema!!!

I was spellbound with the expectation i had when i went into the theatre to watch the "EXPERIENCE" i had... and believe me, you go there for watch a movie but this is simply experience!!!

In the afternoon a friend was telling me that this is a movie which will tell you that you should follow your passion, but then which movie dont!!! I think this is a movie which tells you, enjoy!!! 

Its a slow movie, offcourse, coz with the speed of the rock, the pace of the movie cant move... And i somehow think that if the movies' pace wud have been faster then it would have been different or i say... not that big a hit for me!!! 

Just was chatting to a friend, who is a director himself, studying in a World famous direction school in Sydney, and has directed one small movie which was nominated for one award, and i was telling him, that its the best he can watch in Indian Cinema!! 

Somehow i think Anjuli, was perfectly right when she said awesome(cube)... Thankya Anjuli!!! 

I think director Abhiskek Kapoor has made an awesome flick... and Farhan Akhtar wont regret it ever after Dil Chahta Hai... Hats off to you guys!!!

ROCK ON!!!!

FRIENDS

Its raining here in Pune, for past 3 days. The weather is awesomely romantic, and I want to be out there, in the mountains, camp firing, rain dancing!! :D

But I think of a question too...

Why cant we just be friend with girls?

Dont know, but i think, most of the times, when a male approach some girl, its always seen as flirting!!! If a male try to talk to them, it seems that he wants to take her out on a date! If a male asks her out, it nothing but a date! If a male ask for the mobile no, oh, he will send them all creepy msgs!
Which city, email, blah blah blah... the male one just want to exploit, he is not real, he is weird, he will misuse!!!

But if the same happens from female side, then males arent allowed to say No! If they ask for cell no, then males cant say No!
Males should tell everything, because they are the worst of it kinds, if they dont, then they are fake!!

If a male is not telling, he is bhav khaooing (showing attitude), but females, they just do it for their safety!!!

And if it is asked to some female, its her choice, when to tell and even to tell or not!!!

I dont know why we males are treated like this, Cant we be genuine, do you think all male are hungry for sex, and that too everytime!!!

I as a male understand that yes, their are bad ppl, who can exploit, but then why is it everyone who is blamed? And the same goes for females too then!!

C'mon, We are real, emotional, and we can be friends too... Some bad experience of yours cant blame the whole gender!! :)

If we think of(just think of) some female to be a friend, its just labelled to be Love, too soon!!! There is a lot of difference between liking and loving, just like boy friend and lover!!

And ya, may be i m generalising, coz it happens most of the times, if not always!! :D
and i m certainly not a hunk, or Cutie pie... :P
hehe

God, how horrible it becomes!! :P
Male bhais, plzzz dont take the liberty, ask them... what they want, after all we are the inferior ones!! lolzzz

To all my female friends, this was a general thought which came to my mind, not that i have experienced it today and i am ranting out here!! lolzz

I know it sounds like some hindi movie dialog, But...
Cant We be just friends?
Besharm hoon, kya karoon!! :D ;)

Would have Millionaire!!!

I have been given quite a few chances to became millionaire, but for that i should have been in US to sue them and claim it! :P
Here it goes ;)

1) It began with Mcdonalds (Gurgaon, MG Road). I ordered a McVeggie and a bottle of Pepsi. I started my meal and realize in the middle that the Pepsi isnt testing the same (yea yea it has a taste!! :D )!!!
I checked the bottle and realize that the "date of bottling + best before 3 months" is gone, so i called up the customer care again. The kid was really fundoo and this is what he told me... "Sir its best before, you can still drink it..." and i said Wow!!! Which means Mcdonalds offer me something which is really not in best of condition. Somehow i had a word with his Manager and he said Sorry to it, and sent me a new bottle and to my surprise, 2 more burgers and 2 shakes!!! :P

But its India, Deepeika advised me to sue them (my ex, she is a lawyer) but then we decided to go against it coz it was more of a pain for her!! :P
Lesson Learnt: Check the best before date on the bottle before drinking it...

2) Pizza Hut (Forum, Bangalore), Ordered a Pizza and paid on the phone using Credit card. I happily signed the reciept without offering a tip. My AMEX statement comes and what i realize is that i have paid some 50 Rs of tip for the Pizza!!!
And more than 50 Rs, i was worried that what this guy would have done with my CC number... which made me more angry. I had a word with the manager, the delivery guy was fired and what i get eventually is a dinner free at Pizza Hut!!!
And yes that was the last time in Bangalore they took an order on phone with credit card! :P
Lesson Learnt: Please make sure from the next time to encircle the final amount on the reciept!

3) This is the most hilarious one, coz i ordered a Pasta in Pizza Hut (Domlur, Bangalore, Veg offcourse), showing the picture of what i want, and what i get is a Chicken Pasta!! :P
And the hilarious part, this dood is showing me the picture of the Veg Pasta and telling me that I have ordered this Pasta which is a Chicken one!!! It was 11 pm in the night and they were about to close, other restaurants were also closed and I was hungry as anything!!!
But when such things happen they kill your hunger so i was more interested in fighting!!!! :P
I asked the Store manager to make sure that the GM talks to me ASAP!!! Somehow i get this impression that when i leave my card with people, they think i am some big shot!! :P hahaah
So the General Manager Pizza Hut came to my house after a day and surprised me... He Said sorry and gave me a written apology. This time frankly i was looking for a bigger compensation, so i told him that this is not done and all and this is the second time it is happening!!
He came with a free coupun and also offered me a dinner where he himself served me at the restaurant!!! This dood also came out to be my senior and it saved Pizza Hut coz all of marus or gujjus(pure veg :P ) know how it feels when someone serves you a Non Veg cuisine!! :P
Btw... i had 3 free meals there!! ! :D
Lesson Learnt:- Make sure of what you are eating even when you are eating in a MNC Restauruant!!!

I am Embarrassed!!!

Now this is the creative side of mine, so i decided to create a tag and tag ppl too. Always use to thought that somewhere these must originate, now i know where!!! :D
So here i go with 5 moments which actually embarrassed me, the most!!

1) My dad was transferred to a small town in Rajasthan, and i actually decided that i should move too. Everyone said No to it, but then...
So this was a new day in school, year 1992, i wore a blue short with draw strings and as usual a nice pair of specs. But to my amusement ( not at all), in the interval these guys in the school decided to bully me... and i was called as "Chasmudin Chaddiwala" (cant translate as in English it means nothing but a funny term coined just for me in hindi!!! ).
I decided to ran away from the school and then in the interval, i ran! I didn’t wait for the nice cab which use to pick me up and walked almost 6 kms on my foot! That was the last day of my school in that town, i was back to my convent!!! Lolzzzz

2) As a usual teenager, i was driving my bike but rather concentrating more on the girls driving a kinetic. So i didn’t saw the divider on the road and rammed my bike into it!!! To save myself from the embarrassment, i got up immediately, tried some stretching and all, and picked my bike from the scene. The girls stopped and as soon as i got up, they left!!! It pained lot girls!! :P

3) I have done blunders in typo. Once i was discussing SEZ's (Special Economic Zones) in a public chat room on a website forum. Now there was a girl who was showing her tremendous knowledge, so i wrote... Sammy (name changed) is an expert in SEX, so u can ask anything from her... and i didnt realize!!!
Later on i was all bombarded with calls n msges, and i was blocked on the site!!! Somehow, ppl realized, that how near Z & X is!!! :P

4) Same typo with another blunder, I called Sneha a Shrek instead of a Shrink (Sorry Sneha), and didn’t realize it until Chintan explicitly told me what I have done!!! :P
I was calling her Shrek and above all i told her that she has never said she isn’t one!! (Thinking of her as a Shrink :P) and also that Shrek’s are beautiful!!! :P

5) A friend of mine called me at 11 in the night, he needed some songs, and i said that I am not at home, at some friends place so he can come tomorrow!!!
The last thing i expected, my rommie came in next 2 minutes and i saw this friend of mine with him!!! I felt like... Gosh!!! And then i was just making excuses that i was busy and all kinda!! :P
Lolzzz
Guys, i felt like i should be alone!!! :D

Now i tag Solitaire, Ria, Ashu, Pri, Ceedy for the same. Rules are: 5 moments and 5 ppl to be tagged!!! Come on guys, please help me spread my creativity!! :D
Hehe


btw... among all this, yesterday was like a dream come true for me, I clicked a photo of mine with Mclaren Mercedes F1 car, the original one and it was on display in India for some time. I was lucky enough to be clicked with it. It was like a dream come true. Offcourse the bigger one is to drive a Ferrari someday!!! :D
I know, i know i am asking for too much Guys!! :D but if Vijay Malya can y cant I !!! :D


Here are the pics... Enjoy!!

D Quirk-tag

The Rules:
1. Link the person(s) who tagged you… Ceedy Bhai
2. Mention the rules on your blog
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours...
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them…
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged..

Quirks

1) Girls find me a flirt in the beginning and later on they became good friends. Most of my real life girl friends actually thought i was flirting with them... :P
and yes, i love them all!!! :D

2) I am a complete foodie. Even when i am dating (i mean used to!! :P ), i still used to thought a lot abt food (dont think dirty fantasies!! :P ). My girl always liked to order Cheese Pizza at Pizza hut which i hate coz i like veggie supreme a lot... and then i cudnt share with her ;)
hehe
But when i m eating, u really need to be alert if u wanna eat something!!! :P
Also I dont like to experiment with food when i m super hungry!!! ;)

3) I am super emotional... any relationship means a lot to me!!!

4) I have become a complete net freak lately, anytime, everytime... cant live without it!!! If you ask me for a day without net, i find difficult to sleep!!! :D

5) I am talkative, you all must be knowing this with the size of comments i leave on ur blogs!!! :D

6) I am a complete movie buff!!! God forbid if on a date u talk abt some movies, coz i have loads to prescribe!!! :P
I can talk at any length about movies, relationship, and love!!! :)


Now tagging:
Keshi , Pri, Aneri, Veens, Ella, Vandita

Cheers!!!

Childhood Memories...

M B'day reminded me of the childhood day’s memories, pretty and nostalgic...

So let’s have a Deja Vu with those by quoting some happy memories from childhood.

1) B'day Celebrations!!!
It used to make me really happy when I got all the attention, and moreover all the gifts. :D

2) Chocolates!!!
My mom used to give me and my sister a chocolate every day after her day at work. I remember the name too… “Milky Bar…” Havent had any other chocolate than this one. It was my favorite.

3) Dresses!!!
It was an occasion when I used to get a new dress and it was a reason to celebrate too. I still remember how before the birthday or any festivals we used to prepare for the shopping. :D
4) Lunch boxes!!!
I am an admirer of good food since childhood and I still remember all my female friends used to fight that whose lunch box I am going to eat. :-P
I still remember this one girl who used to bring sweet sandwiches just for me. :D

5) Picnics!!!
Oh… at that time, even going to a local garden was celebrated as picnic. We used to take the lunch and water bottles with us and then used to eat there sitting under a tree.
Used to play cricket or some other game and had so much fun.
If it was some other city we used to be so excited and used to boast a lot to our friends about it. :P

6) Cards, Chupan chupai (Hide n Seek), Langdi Tang!!!
The best games we played, not like the present generations spending whole time sitting in front of TV with a X-Box. So many games there were and so many kids. Playing Cards were the best thing still and so were Sitolia, Gulli Danda!!!. :D
But I miss playing “Kanche” the most. My mom never let me play that because she said it is a bad habbit. :(
(Sorry keshi, I don’t know the English versions of these games.)

7) Comics
Omg… the best thing created by god ever…: D :D
I am an ardent follower of PRAN, the author/creator of Chacha Chaudhary, Pinky, Bablu and many more. :D
I used to read Nagraj, Dhruv, Doga, Ram Raheem, Krookbond, Bankelal, Chacha Bhatija and so many more comics.
Also Mendrek and Phantom were my favorite characters. :D
On my b’day I visited LANDMARK and asked them about hindi comics, but bad luck… :(

8) Ride on someone’s bike or own bicycle
In those times, it was an luxury and so does the car. I remember my dad bought an Ambassador in 1985 which he sold later, but till 1987 we used to ride on his Luna. :D
I had my own bicycle in class 8th (auto till then), and it was stolen too :(
But when we used to ride on someone’s bike it was an amazing experience and we used to talk about it. Hehe

There were so many other things which used to make me happy. They were small but beautiful. I really wonder nowadays when the children don’t know even the name of the kids who live in the same building, leave society even. We have been too busy with out laptops, TV’s and above all with ourselves.

But I surely had my happy childhood days. Tell me yours!!! :)

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This is a pic i clicked recently on my trip to Delhi...

Cheers!!!

Book Review :D

This is an amazing article i have come across when i was searching for the original author of the bio-science thing. When I read it the only thought which came to my mind was to share this with all of you... Read and dont think too much lolzzz

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Why do men have nipples?

Because we are mammals and blessed with body hair, three middle ear bones, and the ability to nourish our young with milk that females produce in modified sweat glands called mammary glands.
Although females have the mammary glands, we all start out in a similar way in the embryo. During development, the embryo follows a female template until about six weeks, when the male sex chromosome kicks in for a male embryo. The embryo then begins to develop all of its male characteristics. Men are thus left with nipples and also with some breast tissue.
Men can even get breast cancer and there are some medical conditions that can cause male breasts to enlarge. Abnormal enlargement of the breasts in a male is known a gynecomastia. Gynecomastia can be caused by using anabolic steroids. So, if your favourite athlete suddenly develops man boobs and starts winning gold medals, you know the reason why.


CAN CARROTS HELP TO IMPROVE YOUR VISION?
The Roman emperor Caligula believed that carrots had the properties of an aphrodisiac. He is said to have fed the Senate a banquet of only carrots so that he could watch his senators fornicate like wild beasts.
However, the eyesight myth dates back only to the Second World War when the Royal Air Force was trying to hide the fact that it had developed a sophisticated radar system to shoot down German bombers. They said that the accuracy of British fighter pilots at night was a result of them being fed huge quantities of carrots.
It’s true that carrots are rich in betacarotene. The body converts betacarotene to vitamin A and extreme vitamin A deficiency can cause blindness. But only a small amount of betacarotene is necessary for good vision. If you’re not deficient in vitamin A, your vision won’t improve, no matter how many carrots you eat.

WHY DO SOME PEOPLE HAVE AN “OUTIE” BELLY BUTTON, SOME AN “INNIE”?
I always believed that you had an “innie” if the doctor tied a good knot and if he didn't you were cursed with that funny-looking “outie”. But I discovered when I delivered my first baby that there is no knot-tying at all. We just put on a clip, cut and wait for the umbilical cord to dry up and fall off. It is all random. Sometimes someone can develop an “outie” because they have a hernia at this site.

IS IT BAD TO CRACK YOUR KNUCKLES?
Cracking your knuckles is not as bad as people think. The usual argument is that it causes arthritis. Chronic knuckle-cracking may cause some damage, including stretching of the surrounding ligaments and a decrease in grip strength, but not arthritis. So what causes the pop? The sound is produced when bubbles burst in the synovial fluid surrounding the joint.

CAN POPPY SEEDS MAKE YOU TEST POSITIVE FOR HEROIN?
If you plan on competing in the Olympics, think twice before gorging on poppy-seed biscuits. Eating enough poppy seeds can cause your urine to test positive for opiates. It is difficult to say how many you need to eat to fail your drug test, but some reports have stated that poppy-seed bagels could generate a positive result. What’s the connection with heroin? Cultivated poppies are the source of opium, from which morphine and heroin are produced.

IF SOMEONE IS CHOKING AT A DINNER PARTY, CAN YOU DO A TRACHEOTOMY WITH AN OYSTER KNIFE?
Our friend Kim can do pretty much anything. She wanted to know the answer to this, and we realised that if anyone could do this, it would be her. She wouldn't let the procedure spoil her dinner party either. A tracheotomy is a dramatic attempt to relieve a blocked airway. Remember the MASH episode where Father Mulcahy sticks a pen in a guy’s throat to help him breathe? The oyster knife might work but please don’t try this at home. Call 999 instead.

WHY ARE YAWNS CONTAGIOUS?
There are several theories for what causes yawns and why they are contagious. It was originally thought that people yawned to get more oxygen, but this appears not to be true. The most common theory is behavioural. In an article on contagious yawns, a biopsychologist, Dr Steven M. Platek, of Drexel University in Philadelphia, suggests that people are unconsciously imitating others when they yawn. Humans are not the only species to yawn. Yawning is seen in many animals, including cats, fish and birds (no, we don’t know what a yawning fish looks like either).

WHY CAN YOU LIGHT A FART?
An average fart is 59 per cent nitrogen, 21 per cent hydrogen, 9 per cent carbon dioxide, 7 per cent methane and 4 per cent oxygen. Farts can travel at speeds of 10ft (3m) a second. A person produces about half a litre (1pt) of farts a day. Women fart as much as men. The gas that makes farts stink is hydrogen sulphide. This gas, which is less than 1 per cent of the make-up of a fart, contains sulphur, the smelly component. Foods that cause smelly farts include beans, cabbage, cheese, eggs, fizzy drinks. Most people pass gas about 14 times a day. Farts contain the flammable gases hydrogen and methane. The proportions of these gases depend largely on the bacteria that live in the colon which digest food that has not previously been absorbed by the gut. There is some danger associated with igniting flatulence. But students don’t seem to care.

SHOULD YOU WAIT HALF AN HOUR AFTER EATING TO GO SWIMMING?
In childhood, no time seemed longer than waiting to jump back in the water after a meal. But there is no medical evidence for this. When you put food in your mouth digestion begins immediately, but once the food arrives in your stomach it takes about four hours to process there completely. Food then passes into the small intestine, where it spends another two hours, and then on to the large intestine for another 14. These times vary widely, depending on what you eat, so don’t set your watch by it.
This doesn’t mean that it’s safe to eat 12 hamburgers and then try to swim the English Channel. Use your head and listen to signals from your body. If you feel pain, cramping, or severe fatigue, get out and, please, don’t puke in the pool.

WHY DO OLD LADIES GROW BEARDS?
The easy answer would be: “To work in a carnival”. But it’s not that simple. At menopause, the ratio of male hormones, or androgens, to oestrogen begins to change. This can produce mild increases in facial hair. The amount and thickness of facial hair is hereditary and how thickly follicles are distributed throughout the skin is determined at birth. Some ethnic groups or nationalities are more likely to develop facial hair than others. Some medical conditions can cause excessive hair growth, so it is always wise to check with your doctor, especially if you are a woman experiencing five ’clock shadow.

BEER BEFORE WINE, YOU’LL FEEL FINE; WINE BEFORE BEER, YOU’LL FEEL QUEER?
This one isn’t all that clear. Or maybe it’s because of those drinks we’ve just had. The biggest problem with this rhyme is that nobody seems to remember how it goes. As for the science, there is no research to prove or to disprove it. One theory about this little ditty attempts to explain that the carbonation in beer causes increased alcohol absorption. There is no proof that this is true. Nor should you believe that coffee will help you with a hangover or that bread will absorb the alcohol in your system. Only time will cure your pain as you wait for the alcohol to leave your bloodstream. Intoxication is defined as a blood alcohol level of 100 milligrams per decilitre of blood (0.1 per cent). In adults, the level usually falls about 15 to 20 mg/dL an hour. Everyone metabolises differently, but on average it would take about six to eight hours for you to return to normal from a mild drunken state. Simply put, alcohol causes intoxication, so the more you drink, the sicker you get. It doesn’t have anything to do with the order in which you tend to drink your beer or wine.
As for the dreaded hangover that follows, it is caused mainly by dehydration and interrupted sleep. The sleep and water that will ultimately cure you are not as interesting as some of the more popular hangover cures.

IS IT MORE SANITARY TO BE SPAT ON OR PEED ON?
There is no specific course in medical school to deal with all the secretions that you find yourself faced with as a doctor. It is definitely a rude awakening to find yourself being coughed on, spat on and even urinated on. All doctors have been doused in a variety of bodily fluids. One wonderful evening in accident and emergency, I heard a nurse screaming. I found her desperately trying to keep a drunk patient who had passed out from hitting the floor. He was not a small man, and the dead weight was too much to manage. The only way I could get him back on the stretcher was to grab him from behind and throw myself on the stretcher with the patient on top of me. Simple. I could then just roll him over. Unfortunately, I didn’t plan on him using me as a bedpan the instant we hit the bed. This is disgusting, of course, but when faced with the option of being urinated or spat on, I would choose urine. This is not a fetish. Normal urine is sterile. It contains fluids, salts and waste, but it’s free of bacteria, viruses and fungi. It is not always fragrant, but it is cleaner than spit. Spit contains large amounts of bacteria and, thus, is filthy.

CONTACT LENS IN THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD?
It is quite common for people to come into an emergency room because they can’t find their contact lens. Sometimes it is found folded and tucked behind the eyelid, but other times it is nowhere to be found. So where is it? Answer: probably on the bathroom floor at home. A little anatomy lesson: there is nowhere else for it to go. Other commonly “misplaced” items that lead people to accident and emergency: tampons, condoms and car keys.

IS SPERM NUTRITIOUS OR FATTENING?
You are what you eat. In this case, it is somewhat true, as sperm contains important genetic material. But sperm is not particularly nutritious or fattening. The average ejaculate, about one teaspoon, contains between two and three hundred million sperm. Total calories: about five. These calories are derived mainly from fructose, a type of sugar, secreted into semen by the prostate gland to provide the sperm with the energy to swim. Other good stuff found in semen includes water, vitamin C, citric acid, phosphate, bicarbonates, zinc, and prostaglandins. A veritable breakfast of champions.

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This was just an amazing read, so i thought its better to have it here to read after so much of Rationalism. :D
Extracted from Why Do Men Have Nipples? Published by Orion (?6.99)
Source : The Telegraph

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